As it has probably been obvious in the last year or so, I’ve had more forgettable affairs than I care to think about. Some have lasted a little longer than a month, others lasted a few days, or even a few hours. My love life has gathered more cobwebs than I care to count. There’s a part of me that wishes I had someone to share my life with, and then there’s a part of me that doesn’t know what I want — a relationship or not? Maybe it’s one of those things where you don’t know what you want until you’ve found it. I can’t even articulate what I want.
I thought I wanted to be with someone, but in the last month or so, the two people I’ve dated just seemed so… meh. Adam was a kind and considerate person, but he was too self-involved and didn’t seem to understand that a conversation is a two-way street. Nobody likes monologues on a date. He constantly interrupted me, and then proceeded to ask questions like, “Why don’t you ever talk about yourself?” Cue the eye-rolling. Plus, he refused to let me pay, and put up a real fight when I insisted. It was intense, and it’s a threat to my femininity. I stopped replying to his text messages and e-mails. I think he gets the message. I thought about ending it in a “mature” way, but then I realized that I’d only gone on three dates with the guy, so I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.
Then there’s Jason, who I met through a friend. He’s also… nice. Quiet and shy, and a little more awkward than I like. I like awkward guys sometimes, but not when they are too awkward. I’m not sure whether he likes me or not, but I don’t think I’m attracted to him. There’s just no spark, and I don’t really think we have that much in common besides the fact that we are both interested in the legal profession. I think he’s a really great guy, and I’d love to be friends with him, but everyone knows men and women can never be friends. I guess we’ll just see.
I want to meet someone who…
- makes me excited for the day when I wake up.
- understands my dry sense of humor and can dish back exactly what I dish to him.
- makes me laugh until my stomach hurts and milk is coming out of my nose.
- shares my passion for good food, good beer, and good music.
- loves to cook, travel, watch TV, and play video games just as much as he loves to explore new music, new bars, and new restaurants in the city.
- is not afraid to pay the cover or the ticket price to get into a concert for a band he’s never heard of.
- wants to be spontaneous for a date, because he knows that it’s not about what you do but who you’re with that makes a night fun.
- can teach me something new.
- makes me want to be the best person I can be every single day.
But at the end of the day, and after all these criteria, I really just want… spark. Why is it so hard to find someone with whom you have chemistry and a connection?
