After all these months, I finally did something about CPB. I finally spoke up and defended myself against an unreasonable, petty tyrant. A couple of days ago, we had another confrontation in her office, in which, as always, she accused me of not doing my job and not listening to her directions. She proceeded to end the conversation in the most immature way — told me to “try harder” and turned away from me to end the conversation. It was like arguing with a teenager. The next day, as we tried to “constructively” continue the conversation, I continued to defend myself against her accusations and claims, all of which were unsubstantiated — not to mention, after the fact. She drew up examples from weeks prior, but at the time, had not made any of her opinions known at the time. Thus, it was impossible for me to know that she was unhappy with anything until this reckless confrontation. When I spoke up to defend myself, I think I pressed a button in her that pushed her over an emotionally unstable edge that she had never gone across. She ended up crossing a line on every level possible — professional and personal. She drew up personal attacks and even threatened my job security. She called me “selfish” and “narrow-minded” and told me that if I involved any “higher level people” that it would “not be in my best interest.” Mind you, my job security depends very little on her say. You could say it doesn’t, actually. I work for the partners and the client, not her.
Anyway, after sleeping on it and speaking to my co-workers about it, I decided to tell the office manager about the confrontation and the months of abuse that I and my coworker have had to endure since August. The office manager was efficient in getting the hiring partner involved, and told me that I should never find myself in that situation. She truly championed for me and my coworker, and for that, I am relieved. I was afraid that she and the hiring partner would take CPB’s word over mine, but I came to the conclusion the night before that if that were the case, it would be confirmation for me to leave the firm. However, she was completely supportive and efficient in getting the information across to the partners. 20 minutes, the hiring partner went into CPB’s office and talked with her for a good half hour.
I have yet to see what the real consequences of my actions were, but I have hope that things will improve from now on. And if anything else, I can walk away knowing that I stood up for myself and didn’t stand by as someone bullied me into staying quiet about an unhealthy work environment. In a way, I am glad that she crossed that line the day prior because it gave me the initiative and the proper ammunition to take action. Her personal attacks were unjustified on every level, whether or not I have been doing my job. I don’t expect or even want an apology from her; it was the principle that I championed. I had to stand up for myself because even though I am on the bottom of the office totem pole, so to speak, I have a right to be respected and to work in a healthy environment. If you want to have a professional conversation, then be constructive. Nobody talks to me that way, and I finally did something about it.
On Friday, I felt like I won one for the little guy.
