Wow, where do I even begin from the place I last left off??
So much has happened since I last wrote on here. I keep making these empty promises about trying to keep up with this blog. Is forgetting to write in a blog a sign that I am emotionally strong and mature enough to stop needing to figure it out? Or is it just a sign that I’m way too busy to really take care of myself emotionally? I have no idea. But all I can say that this semester turned out to be so much better than I had initially expected. Everything is going absolutely great with Spencer. He is so different and so much better than Ethan. In every possible way. And if things can continue to be great when I return from France in 5 months, then I really see this going somewhere good. Right now I am avoiding the labels — relationship, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. Mostly because if either of us fuck up in the next 5 months, then at least it was half-expected. I know that either one of us going to look for anything while I’m away, but both have agreed to tell each other the truth if either has started seeing someone else. I think I’m mainly keeping it unofficial because I don’t know if I can trust myself during the next 5 months. Now that I’ll be going around looking for anything, but if the opportunity presented itself to me, I can’t be trusted to hold my own and look away.
